Hi, ppl. It has really been a long time since i last blogged. Haha to be honest i specially chose this day, just to make it exactly a year. Lol.
When i look back at my blog entries last year, it occured to me that indeed, many things have happened ever since then. From the time of my last blog entry, i have embarked on an especially arduous journey, academically and emotionally.
Most significant and tangible were the setbacks i faced in my studies. During the C1 block tests last year, i scored all Us for my 4 H2 subjects, with only a B in GP to salvage the situation very minimally. As a result, i had to see the dean, Mrs Tan Ai Chin, and was forced to relinquish all my CCA commitments in CO, Huayun and LEP Council. Thereafter, I got 2 Us for Maths and Chem, S in Econs, and Es in CLL and GP in my promos. GP was a pity then, as i had been scoring consistent Bs during normal tests, only to flop the promos simply bcos i was too sleepy to concentrate. But that was not crucial, as getting 2 Us already meant that i had to downgrade a H2 subject to H1 to be promoted to C2. Eventually, i chose to downgrade my weakest subject, chemistry.
Needless to say, the emotional struggle associated with such pathetic results is painful. But what made the entire experience heart-whrenching was that it was coupled with a period of strained relationships with my classmates. The lack of encouragement and friendship from these people whom i spend everyday in lessons with made me depressed, and perhaps very irritable. Given that i was somewhat sucidal during this phase, the support i gained from the close friends i have had since high sch were really timely. I remembered telling Alvin Aw after getting back my promos papers that the only reason why i was alive was because the marginal cost of dying was greater than that of living (using econs as explanation), not bcos living had much benefit per se.
The Dec holidays was a really memorable and fun experience, as i was given the chance to visit Taiwan for 2 weeks based on my LEP scholarship. However, bcos of my poor results last year, the scholarship was revoked early this year. This was a major blow to me, but i recovered from my despair soon enough, with encouragement from friends and my dear senior, Kai Li.
Fortunately, 2008 proved to be a better year, perhaps because I was determined not to make the same mistakes of daoing my tutorials till they snowball like last year. Learning chemistry under the H1 syllabus also made it more fun and less stressful. This is partly due to the syllabus itself, but also partly due to my great tutors, Mr Collin Loy and Mrs Chin, who are really supportive and patient with us. Relationship with my classmates also improved, likely due to the fact that I'm no longer the CLL Rep, and hence they were less likely to bu shuang me due to collection of homework and LEP funds.
Block test 1 this year proved to be a better experience than BT and promos last year. Basically my results are...
H1 Chemistry: U
Mathematics: U
Economics: S
Chinese Language & Literature: D
General Paper: B
Of cos, compared to the rest of the student population, my results is still considered very lousy. But i do see myself taking baby steps towards improvement, especially in CLL and GP. For CLL, i was actually prepared to get S or U, but the D resulting from my heavy mugging in Gu3 Wen2 showed that i am actually capable of scoring if i really put my heart into studying, i.e. i am not as stupid as i think. As for GP, being able to top the class was really unanticipated. Though GP has been my best subject since entering JC, i had not expected myself to score higher than GP pros Zheng Hang and Xianzhe.
Well, I have no idea what the future holds for me... whether i will be able to do better for BT2? Whether i can get silver for NAPFA (army requirement)? Whether the CO concert in June will be successful? Whether my SL project can pull through? Whether i will do well for my 'A' Levels? Whether i can enter university? Whether i can get a scholarship? And also, whether i will be posting another blog entry this year (lol), or let this blog rot for another year again? Haha, I do hope the best will come true. Shall jiayou, mug and stop slacking! XD
